Love is a crappy joke
by Gymnopede
Summary: You don't like stupid jokes, yet you fell for an idiot. Life itself is a bad joke.


What the hell.

Why did it always have to end this way? It had been at least a month since the last time they met, still.

Sure, they were like that, it was part of their personality and an idol could not afford to appear out of character. But future doctors could!

Then why? Was it really that difficult to say "Hey, what you're saying about me is totally right and everyone knows it so I won't even bother in trying to cover it."? No! It wasn't! Then why did she insist on keeping her 'dignified maiden' role? Nico was just trying to spend some quality time with her beloved former underclassman.

It took an amazing effort to get a few days for herself to spend with her friends, being a college student and a backup dancer (which by the way was totally inacceptable and disrespectful considering she was THE super idol Nico Nii, not least. But well, she had to start by something) it was even miraculous the fact that she managed to keep her skin like the butt of a baby. Still, she worked her ass off so she wouldn't have any assignments for golden week and could hang out with her friends. They should all be grateful, specially her.

As always, Honoka suggested the first thing that crossed her mind, "Let's go to Maki-chan's beach house again!" Obviously everyone was dying to spend some days in the luxurious beach house, who wouldn't? But life wasn't always about deciding and immediately after accomplishing. She had stuff to do, for example: she had to clean the knees of her jeans after spending half an hour prostate in front of her mother asking for permission. Not that she had to do it all the time, Nico was a grown up woman for god sake! But she did have to take her of her siblings. And that meant her mother would have to take a couple of days off (how did she get them? Most definitely black magic). Besides, she had a bunch of assignments for college. And even though her mother was able to get days off out of thin air (for wich Nico was immensely grateful), Nico couldn't tap her heels three times to make her homework do itself. She still hadn't inherited the secrets of the Yazawa Black Magic. This was probably just a rude and weird way from destiny or fate or whatever to remind her that she was poor and it sucked.

Anyway, they had just arrived and as everyone was busy chatting in the living, she decided to ask Maki what had been of her life the last month. Heck, she had missed her! And somehow, it turned into a fight. Well, they spent half their time arguing, it wasn't rare for them to have a little discussion now and then. But again somehow, Maki had gotten mad enough as to stop talking to her at all.

Admittedly she knew why Maki had showed her fangs. But it was no more than a silly comment about how her hair looked like a dead squirrel because of the salty wind and the humidity. She even tried to cover up her comment with a "D-Don't get so mad, you're still almost as cute as me, okay?" But somehow Maki got even madder after hearing that and Nico couldn't help but snap back at her.

"Hey Nico-chan! Listen to this joke!" Honoka said interrupting Nico's amazing monologue.

"What." She answered.

"Honoka stop it, she won't like it either…" Umi said from beside her childhood friend grabbing her shoulder to stop her from embarrassing herself.

"She'll love it! It ain't my fault your sense of humor is so bad!" Honoka replied pouting. "Anyway, here it goes…" Then she started to make a redouble on the couch's cushion.

Nico just stared at her unamused. "Stop with the suspense and spit it would you?" Honoka pouted once again.

"You're no fun…" Honoka said, then continued. "Why did the blind man fall into the well?"

Oh, no. "Please no." Nico said already knowing where this was going.

"Because he couldn't see that well!" Honoka finished back to her cheerful self. Then started to giggle and continued. "It was a- Hey! Don't leave!"

Nico got up from the couch she was sitting on and walked towards the kitchen. She had heard it from Nozomi once, and she laughed…just a little. The point is that it was no fun anymore.

She then proceeded to take out a glass from the shelf and fill it with water; she stopped the glass mere centimeters from her mouth. There was the tiny possibility that she would start to laugh once the water was in her mouth. She pondered it for a moment. Screw it, she gulped the whole content in seconds, then placed the glass in the sink and leaned on the doorway of the kitchen. She took a glance at Maki. When she thought how that girl had changed her life she found herself grinning like an idiot. Nozomi noticed. She would have some teasing from her later, but now she had to do something about all this.

She and Maki had long past the period in which they got all embarrassed just from being alone, that phase of adolescence was burnt. Well at least for Nico! It seems Maki refused to abandon her usual tsundere self. And seriously, Nico loved it. But at this point it had turned into a stop in their relationship. She was completely sure they had feelings for each other, it was obvious for everyone! Well, Nico wouldn't really state that Maki liked her back, she had to show some humility and prudence. Imagine how awkward it'd be she stating Maki has feelings for her to discover she actually didn't and it was all just a really big and wrecked misunderstanding. But it was just that, of course Nico wasn't feeling insecure about Maki's behavior, she was Nico Nii god dammit. Since the third year's graduation, about a year ago or so, they had all gotten together a couple of times. And with Maki, she had visited her at her house like a dozen times already. When she started college and started to feel the difference on the academic exigency and the huge amount of time she had to give up in order not to fail, she noticed that she missed her underclassman…a lot. Thus, in a splurge of kindness she made time to pay her some visits, maybe have her come over and hang out together. And even though it was utterly embarrassing (neither was it proper of a super idol), she took the trouble to make moves on her! And every single time it would end up in a fight!

When she noticed Nozomi walking towards her with a grin on her face a vein in her forehead sprouted, she wasn't in the mood for that. She made use of her polished acting skills. As soon as Nozomi opened her mouth to begin the teasing which would very probably be an "Anybody can notice you're stripping her with your gaze Nichocchi!" or something of the sort, Nico simulated a sneeze half-closing her eyes and placing one hand in front of her mid opened mouth and the other one in front of her warning Nozomi not to come close. The taller girl noticed this and waited for Nico to sneeze. She didn't. She made a feint as if she was aiming her sneeze right on Nozomi's face and, taking advantage of Nozomi's gesture to keep out of Nico's aim, she walked quickly towards the living room again. Smooth, she thought. She looked back and caught a glimpse from the corner of her eye of her fellow friend shooting her a threatening smile.

As soon as she got back with the rest of her gang she stopped on her tracks abruptly. She had totally forgotten what she was going to do. She looked at the now third years and Kotori looked at her curiously. A meter or so from her was Maki, sulking alone on a one-seat couch. Ah right. She walked slowly to where the redhead was and stopped right in front of her, then leaned forward so their faces would be around the same level and placed her hands on her own hips. She knew what she should do; no one could resist Nico's charms. Specially Maki, mainly because she was always a step ahead of her.

What. "What." The girl on the couch said.

"You're gonna sour the trip for yourself and everyone if you keep that attitude." Nico answered raising an eyebrow.

What attitude are you talking about? "What attitude are you talking about?" Maki replied right after crossing one leg over the other. Crap. Nico thought upon looking at Maki's sacred thighs. Trying to seduce me?

"Oh? So you're not mad at me?" Nico asked.

Why should I? "Why should I?" Maki answered. Nico grinned; she knew perfectly what Maki would say each time.

"That's what I wanna ask. You know it was just a joke right?" Nico said, crossing her arms. "And would you please look at me when I'm talking to you?

Maki reluctantly looked at her, frowning intensely. "I said I'm not mad okay? Would you stop being a pain in the ass?" Nico's eyebrow twitched in annoyance.

"Okay, I'm gonna pretend you didn't say that and instead listened intently like the adult you almost are." She then stopped and gave a heavy sigh. "Maki-chan, can't you see I'm trying to make up with you? I'm sorry, okay? You look as astonishing beautiful as ever." And finished with a wink. The color of Maki's face upon hearing that was one of the things that gave Nico the confidence she needed. She's mine, isn't she? She thought.

"Oh my, Nicocchi. We're still here you know?" Nozomi butted in as she returned where everyone was and took a sit beside her blonde friend. A "Yeah!" was heard from Rin and Honoka.

"If you don't feel like hearing you're free to leave." Nico deadpanned.

"Oh don't mind us; at least for myself I'm quite enjoying this." Nozomi said crossing her arms on her chest. Wide grin on full display.

Nico gave an annoyed expression. "Yeah, I can tell." Nico quickly dismissed the taller girl and glanced back at her girl. She had her thought front again, twirling her hair while displaying an uninterested expression at her senior. Fuck. Nico thought. Just when I had softened her.

She then proceeded to sit on the armrest of the couch, of course, not without displaying her own thighs for Maki to look at. Hers were not as ridiculously sexy as Maki's but the redhead still looked disturbed by the proximity of pale and white skin. Gotcha. Nico grinned.

"Care to get your filthy-chicken legs out of my sight?" Maki grunted while moving further from the girl beside her. As much as she could at least. The couch wasn't really big to be honest.

Nico snorted. "You really-…Hey Honoka!" Then called Honoka, attracting everyone's attention in the process. Not without scooting closer to the redhead beside her.

Honoka looked at her begrudgingly. "What."

The older girl snorted yet again. "Don't get mad, sorry okay?" Honoka simply hmpf-ed. "Anyway listen to this." The orange haired girl softened her expression out of curiosity. "Why did the tomato blush?"

"Huh?..." Honoka was truly confused, what did tomatoes had to do with anyth- Oh! A joke, it was a joke! "Ah, mmm…Nghhh." She did her utmost to figure out if she had ever heard it. She hadn't. Thus she looked at Nico with a huge grin in anticipation. "Why?!"

Nico quirked a brow at her junior, applying some more expectation on her. "…It saw the salad dressing." Nico finished with a smug grin on her face.

A 'pfft' escaped Nozomi's mouth. Eli allowed a slight grin form on her lips; she was used to this kind of stuff-courtesy of her girlfriend. Umi sighed, loudly. Rin didn't quite get it, so she kept on braiding Hanayo's hair. The latter 'oh'-ed. Kotori had left to the bathroom at some point.

"…" Honoka widened her eyes and formed an 'o' with her mouth while trying to process the words. Salad dressing? She thought. Is it one of that jokes which fun is them not being funny at all? She looked at the floor craving for answers and furrowing her brows. Tomatoes and salad equal food. Food, food… "-Ah" She looked at her senior in realization. Her expression slowly turned into a wide grin, before bursting into an attack of giggles.

Finally Nico glanced at the girl on the couch underneath her. Maki's expression was one of actual confusion. Not because of the terrible joke. What was even the purpose of doing that? They were in the middle of something and Nico just stopped in her tracks to tell Honoka a joke? A really bad one at that. The black haired girl just gave her a genuine and not-stunning-at-all smile that would totally not melt the whole fucking south pole. "W-What was that for?" The redhead asked.

Nico let out a few giggles. "I honestly don't know." She then proceeded to place a big strand of hair that had gotten in the middle of her face product of the movement caused by the laughter behind her ear. "I just kinda remembered that in the moment, and since you don't seem like you're accepting my apologies any time soon I decided to tell it to Honoka, she would at least listen to me." Nico said the last part in an actual accusing tone.

"Maybe I would have if you didn't start talking to tome one else right out of the blue." Maki replied defiantly.

"You know that's not true." Nico answered with a deadpan expression.

"You're right. Cause you're a complete jerk." Maki snapped back at her.

Nico's eyes widened. You little- "If I'm such a jerk and a pain in the ass why ever letting me in here? It's your house after all, ain't it?!" This was not right, Nico thought. She shouldn't snap back at her. Fighting would get her nowhere.

The other people in the room had at some point darted to their own business after Nico's splurge of comical skills. But now that the redhead and the short girl had started to argue-AGAIN-a few of admittedly annoyed heads whipped at the pair.

Maki made an attempt to shoot a comeback, but nothing was coming out of her mouth. Why indeed. She knew perfectly how much of an annoying girl Nico was, why not just not invite her. Or let her in with the condition of wearing a muzzle, or keeping a tennis ball inside her mouth for the time being. Thinking back on it, that could look a lot like bondage. Bondage was scary. Wait, she was drifting through the tangents. Right, why ever letting Nico in-

"Look, Maki-chan." Nico said trying to compose herself. Then she sighed and rubbed her temples. "Come wit-"

"N-No." Maki interrupted decided to win this argument. "Maybe I don't totally avoid you cause I think that, maybe, for a change you can be the adult you are and-Um…S-Stop acting like a child!" Maki finished, her face already about to explode from all the blood that had gotten up there partly from rage and partly from embarrassment because she knew she had just said something really stupid.

"What?" Nico was dumbfounded.

"Ugh! Whatever!" Maki hissed before getting up from the couch.

"W-Wait! I'm not done!" Nico grabbed the redhead by the wrist decided to mend things with her.

"I am!" Maki snapped back. "Let go of me!"

"No Maki! I'm sorry okay? I know I'm a pain in the ass and all! But please just list-"The black haired girl couldn't finish her apology upon being interrupted yet again.

"Look, I don't care okay?!" Maki said yanking her arm off of Nico's grasp. "If you're just gonna throw shit on me each time we see each other, Imma keep it on mind and get your ass out of my sight!" Maki yelled.

Oh boy. Nozomi as well as the other girl's noticed this argument may have gotten really heavy. The bricking pair had long past lost the root of why they were even fighting. She noticed Nico. She looked genuinely pissed and hurt by Maki's comeback. Her fists were balled to her sides and frowning intensely at the girl who was about to leave the living room. The purple haired girl started to get up from the couch she was sitting on while thinking what she had to do. First, make sure Nico didn't storm off the place and to her house. Second, cool off Maki's head. Third, forcibly make the two girls make up. She had just finished getting up when she saw Nico quickly reach Maki, grab her shoulder right before she could get out of sight from the rest of the group. Nico yanked the redhead turning her around, making the latter frown and barely mutter a "What the fu-" before being completely silenced.

As well as the rest of the room.

Enraged and hurt, Nico did what any composed person would do. Brusquely and unceremoniously planting her first kiss right in the middle of the lips she was arguing with. It was a quick one, maybe a second or so. The smacking sound when she pushed away resounded in the whole room. Umi instantly fainted. The sound of a toilet flushing could be heard faintly. Honoka placed her index and middle fingers below Umi's jawline and checked her pulse (not that she knew how to, she just pretended she did) before saying "Hour of decease, I've got no clock with me." Hanayo blushed at the sight of her friends kissing. Rin scrunched her nose and burrowed her frown 'weren't they arguing?'. Nozomi just said "Wow." Eli was too busy checking the rear of her girlfriend as she was standing up to notice what had happened.

Maki was flustered, surprised, for some reason relieved, but over all she was 'what the fuck'-ed.

OooooooooO

Uh hi, I had this (clearly unfinished) story decomposing in my archives. The plan was to make this a one shot but I stopped at this point and after so many time I don't even remember what was the idea I was going for at the beginning. So I'm just posting it and if somebody has any idea of how would you continue (and end) this if you were the writer please do speak.

Chao.


End file.
